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Is it better to be the golden child or scapegoat?
Although it might sound strange, there are some advantages to being the scapegoat child. Although they receive the brunt of the narcissistic abuse, the golden child is certainly more controlled – they have more expectations put upon them.
What does the golden child think of the scapegoat?
The scapegoat is the cause of all the ills of the family, and the golden child is exalted, lavished with attention and praise. Both are projections of the narcissist parent (or parents), false identities assigned to children who do their best with the roles cast them.
What happens when the family scapegoat goes no contact?
Without the common chaos of “dealing with the scapegoat,” the narcissist’s partner may decide that enough is enough. In other words, a scapegoat going no-contact tends induce chaos. The family has become so used to pinpointing issues onto one person that they now feel completely off-guard.
How do I stop being a family scapegoat?
5 Steps to Stop Being the Family Scapegoat
- Only accept what is truly your responsibility. Allow them to take responsibility for what is theirs.
- Give yourself permission to step away.
- Refrain from arguing.
- Lean on your circle of support.
- Remember compassion.
Can both children be scapegoats?
Counterintuitively, you don’t need a herd to become a scapegoat; only children can be scapegoated too. This is what Dora recounted: “In my mother’s telling of the story, everything that has gone wrong in her life can be traced back to me.
What is lost child syndrome?
The “lost child” is the family member who retreats from family dysfunction due to feeling overwhelmed. They can spend a lot of time alone, pursue singular interests, and/or struggle to establish or maintain relationships with others.
How does the scapegoat heal?
Many times, healing the scapegoat role on a personal level is about deep healing of trauma, empowerment, and a place to process emotion and find safety in relationship. Healing the scapegoat role in community means learning how to forge new relationships of repair and effective emotional communication.