What is it called when a patient develops feelings for their therapist?
There is actually a term in psychoanalytic literature that refers to a patient’s feelings about his or her therapist known as transference,1 which is when feelings for a former authority figure are “transferred” onto a therapist. Falling in love with your therapist may be more common than you realize.
Is it normal to become attached to your therapist?
This is definitely something that can be worked out and worked on and your strong feelings for your therapist are entirely natural, appropriate, and yes, essential. Essential because therapy is all about the power of relationship. Good therapists should be able to accept you completely and entirely as you are.
Why do we become obsessed with a person?
We may become obsessed with a person, a place, a goal, a subject—but obsession amounts to the same thing in all cases: addiction. At first, like all addictions, obsession is intoxicating. It fills us up, and what a relief that feeling is (especially if we felt empty before).
What happens if a therapist does not care about their clients?
If a therapist does not care and is not committed to seeing things through with a client, they should not be in this profession! And if for some reason they cannot complete the work with someone, there should be a back up plan for transfer to another therapist.
What happens when a therapist is too discouraging?
So, in therapy, feelings of yearning and neediness can be very strong and very very persistent. Such powerful feelings are not easy to deal with for therapists or for patients. If the therapist is too discouraging, the child within may just give up and wait for the next chance at fulfillment.
Do you feel closeted with your therapist?
Patients feel very sensitive and often terribly ashamed about experiencing a strong yearning for some form of closeness with their therapist. Is that you? I didn’t realize how important this topic was until I wrote the first of a series of posts on the topic at How Therapy Works.